I must admit I am a Starbucks gal. I look forward to my morning cup of java there. While I use the drive through when pressed for time (typically I am), I try to savor the real Starbucks culture and go inside when I can spare the time. What a brand.

Recently when time allowed me to savor the experience inside, I overheard a conversation between the barista/manager and a regular customer. Both parents. One had younger kids, the other (wise woman) had teens. The wise woman said, ‘if you don’t talk to your kids when they are young, you won’t have a relationship with them when they need you, and your guidance’ – when they are teens. They blamed all of this on the overuse of smart phones and technology. I could not agree more.

Each interestingly had set at home policies for not using technology, not allowing phones at dinner, even prescribed down time when no technology could be used. And abusers were really punished. Wow, I was impressed.

My mind was reeling with thoughts. While I did not ask these questions, I certainly wanted to. Had their kids been to sleepaway camp or residential teen programs where no technology (or highly restricted use) was allowed? If so, how did they manage? I love when camps and programs tell me they don’t allow technology. It’s during these times that kids and teens really learn how to communicate, express themselves, make eye contact, collaborate, resolve problems, engage, show compassion and tolerance, etc.

I think next time I will gently ask these questions (and make suggestions).

For anyone on the East coast, especially the NY metro area (where we are based), Frankenstorm, a.k.a. Hurricane Sandy, blew through their homes and businesses like no other before it. Personally, I thought I was going to live in real time, Dorothy’s Wizard of Oz.

Five days later, we are all at our peaks of patience, learning to do without and taking time to perform the simplest of tasks. I rediscovered the power of radio (as in battery operated). Children disheartened by a second year without Halloween (as trick or treating was outlawed in many communities and states) took it in stride.

This devestation has brought together people as a real community; in person or virtually. I myself took to social media to ask for open gas stations that actually have fuel, and a reputable roofer. As trees toppled on our property and those adjacent, we got to know our neighbors better. With no power, renunions of old friends occur at local restaurants that have power. While we would normally swap photos and stories of our kids, we swap tree and insurance stories, and whip out our iphones to share devastation and contractors who can help fix our broken homes.

While the news coverage emphasizes the destruction and updates us on new mandates, where to find refuge and gas; other media are quick to point out all the goodness that has resulted from the storm’s aftermath, as Today.com did today. And where and how we can all help make donations.

Throughout all of this, I return to the comforting thoughts of camp. Yes. I observed camps using their social media to share words of encouragement, offer help whenever possible. As I experienced the storm, I thought about how children and teens who go to camp and summer programs outdoors, are accustomed to doing without many creature comforts we have temporarily been robbed of, and the inability to use technology (unplugging and connecting with nature is effective – and needed!). Ask them to tell you stories of the peace and fun they have just being in the dark and creating memories together.

I am heartened each time I hear of camp and summer program friendships that take teens to college, adulthood and through life. Full proof that these experiences set the foundation to weather life; triumphs and trials, laughter and loss.

Recently I was speaking with some camp directors. One director sent his daughter to the other director’s camp (ok, it sounds strange but it’s not; the boys camp director only has boys at his camp!). This father was talking about his currrent high school senior daughter applying to college now. The other director commented that her early decision college choice had so many of his campers as current students and alumni. Very reassuring to the father that this college could be as good a fit as the camp was for his daughter. Not to mention the ability to network for college roommates.

Personally, I recently hired a caterer whose three daughters I had guided to the same camp, two of whom are still in college. What was a common factor for them in their college choice? That many of their camp sisters attended this same college. And a longtime client of mine just shared that her ivy league college son ran into a camp brother at his college’s intermural sports game against another ivy college. Their mutual recognition brought back warm and wonderful memories of camp together, and rejuvenated their friendship.

These friendships can also offer great support during times of need in life. This recent NY Times article depicts the strength of a summer program to college to life friendship that brings full circle a friend’s ability to console the child of her friend who passed away. I was so sad to read this, but heartfelt that such a friendship was a source of happiness and memories for the child.

Summer friendships turn into lifetime sisters and brothers. I would love to hear of others’ summer friendships that have led you to college, career or life connections and happiness.

I always look forward to our Labor Day tradition. Going to the US Open Tennis matches, then eating at our favorite Greek restaurant in Astoria Queens. Maybe that’s because I live for traditions, from my own camp days and those I am fortunate to experience each summer when we visit camps and programs.

I guess in this day and age of technology, I am much more appreciative of traditions campers, staff and directors yearn for each summer. Some are quite simple, others quite creative, and some go back as far as a camp’s inception. Here’s several I got to witness (again) this summer. Hope they strike a chord with you as well:

*mid-afternoon milk and cookies (today, there’s always an alternative for food allergies)
*senior camper rituals and privileges, incuding: penning final summer messages on a boat house wall and ceiling; ghost rocks with the nicknames of camper/staff who made a difference their final camp/staff year; secretly writing their last year’s will and testament and alma mater; final year camper director dinners; creating themed color war plaques to be hung along the decades of previous ones
*on-camp museums dedicated to housing memorabilia from a camp’s beginning
*hometown jerseys and country flags of campers and staff that line a gym
*strategically assigning kids to dining tables and asking them to figure out the connections
*earning patches for skill improvement or good deeds
*campers journaling about their outdoor trips throughout their camper career
*annual candy drop from the sky (via a small plane)
*first year camper hats that accumulate new feathers every summer for each camper’s seasonal achievements
*and of course, weekly council fires where emotions are shared comfortably and unconditionally.

As I write this list my own emotions grow strong. Holding onto traditions and experiencing them again each year only makes them that much more endearing and memorable.

Your teen has returned from his/her summer experience full of stories, ideas and new resolve to take on more challenges…. Now what? To find out, read our article in Teen Life