Jillian, then 8, her parents and little brother, Ethan, piled into the family minivan in July 2004 and left their home in Dix Hills on a road trip to visit several overnight camps. The search ended -- for Jillian, anyway -- after only the second stop: Camp Pontiac in Copake, about 100 miles north of Manhattan in the foothills of the Berkshire Mountains.

"She loved it. She just knew that was the camp for her," recalls Jillian's mother, Stacey, a public relations executive who works from home. "When we got in the car, she didn't want to visit any more camps. She said, 'Can't you just go down the street and buy me a toothbrush? I'm sure there's room for me to stay.'"

While she couldn't stay then, she returned the next summer for seven weeks and loved it.

Jillian, who turned 10 in November, says she wanted to go to overnight camp because several of her friends who went told her they had a good time. But it was seeing the grounds and throngs of campers playing sports, swimming and making arts and crafts that sold her on Camp Pontiac.

"It looked liked they were having a lot of fun," Jillian recalls. "I was excited to go."

Stacey Udell says she felt confident that Jillian was ready to go.

"She's always been very independent, and ... she's stayed with my mother and in-laws and never had a problem," she says. "She had a very good attitude about it. I think she thought that kids wouldn't be coming back year after year if it wasn't fun."

What to consider

Camp officials, summer program consultants and psychologists agree that parents should look at several factors, as the Udells did, before deciding whether their child is ready for sleep-away camp.

"Some parents feel that when a child says, 'I want to go to overnight camp,' they're ready. But they have to step back and reassess their readiness," says Jill Tipograph, an independent professional summer program consultant and founder of Everything Summer, a Westwood, N.J.- based company that helps match families and kids 7 to 18 in the tristate area with summer camps and activities.

First things first: Does your child really want to spend days, weeks and even months at a distant camp, away from family and familiar surroundings?

Although kids aren't always the best judges of what's best for them, experts say, if a child has outgrown day camps and wants to give it a try, parents should take that as a sign they're ready. Likewise, if a child is on the fence, reticent or resistant about being away from home for a long stretch, maybe parents should put it off for another year or longer.

If the child is not quite ready to go, don't push it, cautions Ann Singal, who with her husband, Arnie, founded Exploration Summer Programs, a Norwood, Mass.-based non-profit organization that runs overnight camps for children in grades four through 12 on the campuses of St. Mark's School, Wellesley College and Yale University.

"If a child really doesn't want to go, really shouldn't want to force it," she says. "If a child is forced into something, they simply won't do it."

Parents also should assess whether their child is emotionally mature enough to go, the experts say. Each child is different when it comes to being able to emotionally separate themselves from their parents, Tipograph and others say. While some first-timers are ready to go as early as 7 or 8, others might be more comfortable waiting until they're 11 or 12.

"I tell it happens when your child is ready, not when you are," she says.

Involving the child in the selection process also will show how ready they are, as the Udells saw when they toured camps with Jillian. Parents might walk away feeling lukewarm about a particular camp, and their kids might love it -- or vice versa.

Child should have input

"I think it's a mistake when parents don't involve their kids. Your child is the one who will be in that camp," Tipograph says. "Parents will walk away and say, 'I love this camp,' and the child will say, 'I didn't like it. The director was talking down to the kids.'"

The child also should be physically ready. One strong indication is if he or she has had good experiences spending the night with grandparents or at a friend's house.

"I think that's a great indication that they can spend the night away," says Laurie Rinke, associate director at Camp Echo Lake in upstate Warrensburg. "If they can go for the evening, spend the evening and wake up the next morning and go home, I would say that's a successful sleep over experience."

Sometimes kids only need a little reassurance from their parents to confirm that they're ready, she adds. "Very often the child is looking to borrow the confidence of their parents in order to feel the confidence to go. Kids are looking for parents to say, 'I love you and I'm going to miss you, but this is a good camp and you're going to have a great time.'"

Socially mature?

Parents also should assess whether their child is socially ready for overnight camp, says Lawrence Balter, a professor of applied psychology at New York University.

For example, he says, do they get along well with other children? Can they comfortably handle unfamiliar or novel circumstances? "Some kids get nervous about situations and aren't good if they don't have things that are predictable," Balter says.

Other factors, such as food allergies, medical concerns and behavioral issues, also should be considered, but they don't have to exclude a child from overnight camp as long as the parents discuss them with camp officials beforehand, the experts say.

"There are some kids who are on medication and their parents use camp, at times, as a vacation, take them off medication and don't explain it to the camp," Tipograph says.

She and others strongly recommend that parents inform the camp staff of any issues so they'll know what to expect -- and so they can decide if their camp is the right fit for your child.

"I think parents are sometimes afraid to be completely honest because they're concerned the camp won't take their child," Tipograph says. "The best thing that any parent can do for their child is be 100 percent open with the camp and profile their child. Tell the camp your child walks at night, or they cry or they talk in their sleep. Tell them that they have an anger problem. The more knowledge a camp has, the more ready they are for your child."

Jillian Udell says she and some of the friends she made at camp have visited each other since last summer and kept in touch through e-mail. She's excited about returning to camp for a second year in June.

"I'm looking forward to see- ing my friends again," she says.

As for her brother, Ethan, who just turned 8, Stacey Udell says he's still "on the fence" about sleep-away camp, so he'll spend this summer at home, attending day camp. He also seems to enjoy being an only child for a few weeks, and if he's not ready to go just yet, it's perfectly fine with her.

"I think a child has to be 100 percent sure. Some kids, their parents push. For my children, I know it had to be their choice," Stacey Udell says. "If a kid isn't ready, it could backfire. They could either have a negative experience or come home and not return. I think next year can only be better with another year at home under his belt."